About The Song
A Country Christmas with a Wink and a Punch
Toby Keith, the rebellious country music icon known for his anthems about patriotism, working-class life, and a touch of redneck pride, takes a sharp turn onto Santa’s lane with “Have I Got a Present for You.” This 2008 track, nestled on his Christmas album A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!, is anything but your traditional holiday fare. It’s a satirical explosion aimed squarely at the commercialization of Christmas and the growing sense of political correctness surrounding the season.
A “War on Christmas” Declared
The song opens with a bang, Keith’s voice laced with frustration as he declares his weariness with the so-called “war on Christmas.” This perceived attack on traditional Christmas celebrations fuels his resolve to “take it back” this year. Keith doesn’t mince words, his lyrics a playful jab at those who seem intent on sanitizing the holiday.
A Christmas Celebration, Keith-Style
The heart of the song unfolds like a hilarious Christmas list gone wild. Forget stocking stuffers and sugar plum dreams – Keith envisions a yuletide extravaganza unlike any other. Imagine 50 shining stars adorning Lady Liberty, a sight that would surely raise eyebrows. He throws in a dash of absurdity with the image of Santa’s reindeer packing heat (“buying guns from his reindeer”) and a sleigh transformed into a bomber (“dropping bombs from his sled”). It’s a comical exaggeration, a playful yet pointed commentary on the increasing commercialization and potential militarization of the holiday spirit.
A Tongue-in-Cheek Threat and a Rowdy Finale
The song’s infectious chorus is a playful warning to anyone who dares to dictate Keith’s Christmas cheer. His booming voice delivers the line, “Have I Got a Present for You,” laced with a mischievous wink, followed by a hope it’s “the right size.” The lyrics then take a sarcastic turn, referencing the national anthem with a twist – “Oh say can you see this Christmas/Baby Jesus tears of thee.” It’s a clever wordplay, highlighting the potential disconnect between the true meaning of Christmas and the way it’s often presented.
The song concludes with a return to Keith’s signature bravado. He declares his intention to “deck the halls” in his own unique way, a celebration that might not conform to everyone’s expectations. The final line, “I’m gonna deck my house and I’ll deck you myself/If you say I can’t deck my house I’ll deck you myself,” is a comedic threat, delivered with a wink, that underscores the song’s lighthearted spirit.
A Holiday Tradition with a Bite
“Have I Got a Present for You” is more than just a novelty Christmas song. It’s a witty commentary on the ever-evolving holiday landscape. While undeniably funny, it also sparks a conversation about the importance of holding onto the true spirit of Christmas amidst the commercial frenzy and societal pressures. Whether you find yourself chuckling along or pondering its message, this unconventional Christmas tune is sure to become a tradition for those who appreciate a little holiday satire with their eggnog.
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Lyric
I can’t believe what Christmas
Has come to today
All these atheists and judges
Trying to take it away
No carols in our public schools
No trees at City Hall
And they wish you “Season’s Greetings”
At the Shopping Mall
Ain’t you sick of it all?Well, there’s a war on Christmas
It’s under attack
But this year America’s taking it back
Separate Church and State
That’s what some lawyer said
I say it’s time we separated
Him from his head
You can call me “Unchristian”
But that’s not true
‘Cause have I got a present for you
(spoken:) It’s the thought that countsChristmas is as American
As apple pie
It’s the late December version
Of the Fourth of July
And they may go by separate names
But Uncle Sam and Santa Claus are one and the same
So boys, take aimHell, there’s a war on Christmas
It’s under attack
But this year America’s taking it back
Separate Church and State
That’s what some liberal said
I say it’s time we liberated him from his head
You can call me “Unchristian”
But that’s not true
Buddy, I got a present for you
(spoken:) Hope it’s the right sizeO Say Can You See this Christmas
Baby Jesus, ‘Tis of Thee
I’m placing 50 shining stars atop
The Statue of “Libertree”
Then I’ll go and jingle the Liberty Bell
Hoist “Old Glory” with an elf
But if you say I can’t deck my halls
Then I’ll deck you myselfWell, there’s a war on Christmas
It’s under attack
Hey, this year Old St. Nicholas is taking it back
He’s firing guns from his reindeer
Dropping bombs from his sled
This year, if you were naughty, you’re as good as dead
He’s wearing red and white
But you can throw in blue
And has he got a present for you
And St. Toby’s got one too
Yeah, we got a present for you
As in the A-C-L-U